A Concert, London, and Travel

I came to London to see a concert. If it sounds a touch extravagant or like a middle-aged reach for a missed groupie youth, you wouldn't be entirely wrong. My husband however was already going to be in London for work - lodging solved! – and among other things, age has a way of drawing out one’s desire to make more effort to rally around passionate people, especially those who have done the work of their craft. I know nothing about music really but I'm getting better at recognizing the scent of authenticity in whatever form it comes by.  Having seen the Brooklyn-born, now Seattle-based Augustines leave a part of themselves in Heidelberg this spring, something told me the trek to London for their last show of their current European tour would be worth the investment.  It was.

My favorite part of the concert was the encore when the band came out to the middle of the crowd to perform a couple songs unplugged.  Made possible by the iconic and intimate venue of London's Roundhouse, it wasn't just a "let's change up the set" decision but a reflection of the band's relationship with their fans - even though the choice further exposed what little voice singer Billy had left after weeks of pummeling.  A woman pastor I heard on a podcast recently talked about how their church is set up in the round as an intention of sharing in the accountability of presence. These guys were the doing the same thing - giving of their grief and longing and joy and then receiving it back as a sort of collective offering.  In that way, we were treated not just to a memorable show but also gifted a two hour hall pass from whatever ailed us when we walked in.

Grade A experiences have this way of giving you temporary water wings that carry you into the next day. My next day was still in London, on my own, until the meet up with my husband for dinner.  Though aching for the American pancakes staring back at me from the hotel breakfast menu, I made a last minute commitment to the veggie works filling me with enough omega3 to power past any temptation to cede my walking agenda to the Underground.  Credit:  water wings.  Normally in the morning company of global news where missives of despair come flying off the page, I am easy target.  However in my buoyed and now nourished state, nothing landed dangerously.

FullSizeRender.jpg

With ear buds in for a second encore, I set out for a long unhurried walk to a photography exhibit at the National Portrait Gallery.  I could have chosen a hundred different destinations in London, but somehow returning to place I’d once been and enjoyed seemed like as good as any way to spend the day.  Engrossed in my playlist and not trusting myself to look the wrong way, I fastidiously obeyed pedestrian signals or stuck close to the shoulder of trailblazers in the know.   

Indeed there are lots of suits and the best looking prams money can buy, but London is a place where everything goes and everyone is welcome, if not for reals at least at first blush.  English language schools round many neighborhood corners and coupling norms are as unexpected as a young Arab hipster offering to share his table with you.  (I said “yes, thanks!”) While the common urban denominator may be scarves, the rest is an opportunity to see the world in six city blocks. 

The day was cold in a way the weather report misrepresented, wind causing chill beneath layers of thoughtful preparation.  After a while, I joined the chorus of people taking cover in coffee shops and tea salons for a mid-morning shot of warmth.  Behind the glass case of my chosen pit stop, gingerbread men squatted on pillows of whipped frosting and cinnamon buns swirled freely in pronouncement of their hand crafted care.  Not obliged to order my joe to go, I marked the moment by cracking open (what’s the Kindle word for that?) a new book and eavesdropping on conversations I could finally understand.  It was lovely and totally unrevealing.

Back on the street, I slackened whatever pace I had to follow herds of people on side streets (most, I learned, on their way to an office building not a secret sample sale) or catch slices of sunlight breaking through (causing an erratic number of street crossings.)   Like a cyclist obliged “Do Not Overtake Buses,” I had not overtaken a single soul who set out for the National Portrait Gallery at roughly the same time I did.  This was meandering at its finest.   Although even with my head partway in the clouds and partway in people watching mode, marketing muscle made it impossible for me to ignore:  “Night of the Museum 3” will be in theatres soon.

Finally ducking in to the exhibit, I was treated to sixty portraits selected from over 4,000 submissions by a wide range of contemporary photographers.   As remarkable photos can, these portraits revealed not just an interesting face but a flash of a life story.   In the permanent collection, one particular amplified oil on canvas caught my attention as I noticed the subject and I shared birth years.  Like me, her face was at the beginning of new groves but her gaze was confident and her teeth excellent.  She also happened to be an Olympic sprinter, a stitch of reassurance that no amount of training can stem the tide of growing older.

Building on the healthy start to the day, I stopped in Soho for a Peruvian lunch of ceviche and causa (cold potato cakes.)  I made conversation with the affable waiter from my counter stool resulting in the purchase of signed copy of their best-selling Peruvian cookbook and shamelessly listened in on an interesting conversation among three young Americans who’d come to London for acting school. 

Revived by the late lunch, I turned my attention toward a little must do Christmas shopping along the circus that is Oxford Street.  Nothing pops you out of your good cheer like a futile search of a soccer kit (Liverpool) not endorsed (hated) in these boroughs.  Draining faster than a phone battery working overtime on maps and music, I did manage a minor success at the Nike Store and a few others.  With the morning marvelousness of humans dimming in a late afternoon queue for the loo and the consumption chatter that all of a sudden surrounds you like an unwanted red bow, I soon veered off in search of a pump for my deflating wings. 

Meeting up for a before dinner drink near my husband’s office, my spirit inflated with a taste of home in a bottled Sierra Nevada Pale Ale and in the company of my most cherished.   From a Peruvian lunch to a Pakistani dinner we hustled across town to Whitechapel to make our 9pm booking. 

Arriving at the largest, most chaotic queue I’ve ever seen at a restaurant – on a Tuesday night no less – I was glad for the reinforcement.  Not yet with the benefit of having tasted the ridiculously good food or seen the ridiculously low 24 pound tab, it was good humor – not necessarily a booking – you needed to secure a seat.  Whatever the case, it quickly became clear we were once again rallying around passionate people working incredibly hard and turning out naan faster than a prolific tweeter .  Once seated we couldn’t help but notice that even in the sea of hungry diners, several of the wait staff had this practice of gently tapping my husband on the shoulder to make sure everything was ok.  It most definitely was.

Travel is wonderful, and should you need any specific details on the above – ping me – but there is another kind of travel that comes in the wake of another soul’s exuberance for life.  Go there.

 

Croatia, Croatia, Croatia

I’ve been hearing about Croatia for years with a steep escalation once we moved to Europe.   The Greek Islands however have stolen my summer heart and without a sailboat we kept putting Croatia off.  Enticed by the promise of warmish weather, we finally decided to visit Croatia in the off season.  Instead of swimming suits we packed our hiking boots for nine days in October.

Croatia has 1100 miles of coastline and as many islands (the legend is that God cried on bare rocks where his tears turned into islands) and so the project of figuring out “How to do Croatia” was a bit like a plodding jog after an undigested lunch.   The travel guides are helpful until the moment that you have compiled two dozen places you want to see and then realize that half of them require ferries – which logically won’t be running in October.  This meant crossing the Southern Dalmatian islands of Vis, Brac and Korcula off our list.  (Glamorous Hvar was already o$$ our list.)

Our best and cheapest flight option was into Zadar and so that became our jumping off point for a driving tour down the Dalmatian Coast.  (Northern Zagreb, on many Best of Europe lists, was also crossed off to make way for a southward journey.)  Always the optimist (and never the driver), I booked our first place on the island of Pag which was conveniently connected to the mainland by a bridge but a not-so-convenient 1 hour 40 minute drive from the airport.  [Take note:  Car renting in Croatia is not at all like car renting in the USA.   In and out efficiency is not their sweet spot.   If you lean towards beating someone to a spot in line, this is absolutely the time to engage those quick twitch muscles.]  

275.JPG

Like a lonely swing set on the edge of nowhere (especially in the dark) is perhaps the first impression you might have of the long, skinny island of Pag with its moonscape, rocky terrain.  The second impression is sheep.  Pag is home to around 8,000 people and three times as many sheep.  If you miss your first photo of sheep, be assured – you’ll be grazed with another.  Roaming the slopes in search of edible herbs like sage, Pag is home to famous Paskisir sheep cheese that is every bit as delicious and earthy as their diet would suggest.   

028.JPG

When you travel off season rates are obviously better which means you might be able to book a place one star higher than you would during peak season.   That advantage allowed us to stay at HOTEL BOŠKINAC, an 11 room family run hotel with gourmet restaurant & winery in a beautiful peaceful setting among vineyards and olive trees.  I’d like to take credit for finding such a gem, but Anthony Bourdain found it first and his word has a way of traveling the blogosphere.  He was also right.  It’s an awesome self-contained place (important when traveling to an area where much has already closed for the year) with wonderful but unfussy service, huge, nicely oriented rooms, a wedding-worthy terrace, and indeed tasty food (octopus carpaccio, roasted lamb, risotto with shrimps, squid and potatoes ) and wine. 

We were Hotel Boskinac’s very last guests of the season though not the loudest.  Credit that to the local dinner guests the night we arrived who were celebrating a 60something birthday party with two guitars and a whole table singing traditional Dalmation music long into the evening.  Not only was the music lovely, but there was something about watching an older group of Croatians who had likely been around for the conflict only thirty years prior and now living in a tourist boom sing every word to every song with an intensity that was mesmerizing.  My family’s sweet Happy Birthday serenade the following evening was meek by comparison but loud enough to wake the kitchen into a special dessert. 

017.JPG

People come to Pag to party.  Often called the Croatian Ibiza, most of the partying radiates around one of the three main beaches near the non-descript town of Novalja.  Even without the crowds (not a soul in fact), it was easy to imagine that the “scene” is more of a draw than the “scenery” as the beaches are relatively small and pebbled.  Call me a snob but I like my beaches with sand and minus the floating party dock.  But, then again, we were here to hike and hike we did.

Hike #1:  The Super Windy Hike

October is the month of bora winds which blow down from the mountains along the eastern Adriatic.   The gusty winds keep fisherman grounded (hence the dinners of squid and octopus which are the only fish that they freeze) and *may* have caused me to bark a few too many inaudible commands to stay away from the edge.  Our first hike was on Metajna, a rocky stone outcropping on the east of the island.  The roughly 3.5 mile rugged coastline hike takes you along four distinct sections:  a long rocky beach, a moonscape rock scramble on a point, a pine forest with small beaches, and a narrow walkway along a rock cliff that ends in a small village.  It’s not a groomed hike with trail signs.  Great for rock climbers. Even great in wind. 

Hike #2:  The “When Can We … Go Skinny Dipping?” Hike

Never suggest the remote possibility of skinny dipping before a hike begins.   It impedes leisurely progress.  Our second hike was on a botanical reserve of olive trees on the northern tip of the island called Lun.  Developed into a reserve by the UN in 2013, the Lun Olive Garden has more than 80,000 olive trees including the oldest olive tree at 1,600 years old.  A 7 km trail runs through the garden – part of which is along coast with great places to picnic and an interior part with some elevation and great views – with a surreal mix of rocky undergrowth, dense groves, and sheep crisscrossing through dry stone wall pens.  It’s absolutely stunning.  On both hikes, we never saw another person.  Had the water temperature been more agreeable (and the begging less relentless), it could have been ideal for skinny dipping.

One of the highlights from our time on Pag was touring and tasting at the Sirana Gligora dairy to see how the Paskisir sheep cheese was made.   Naturally this called for a hazmat suit.  Like so many things during shoulder season with the hives of tourists gone, it ended up being a private tour which meant that we didn’t have to conserve our questions.  At the start of the tour the guide asked Lawton, “Where does milk come from?” to which Lawton replied, “Mom.”  Clearly, we needed the tour and the full airspace for questions.

From the island of Pag we drove down the Dalmation Coast to Croatia’s second largest city, Split.  Instead of the motorway, we took a slower route that hugged the coast which was well worth the time investment.  Packing a picnic lunch is always advised when taking the scenic route.   We’d been advised to stopover in Sibenik on the way down for a few hours but got seriously lost on a tangle of steep streets that seemed to be going everywhere but the medieval centre and sucking all collective will from the car. 

We carried on to Split where we booked an apartment at Divota Apartment Hotel – a scattering of restored stone houses in the center of old town Split near the harbor.  The location could absolutely not be better.  They have apartment configurations for all sizes and budgets and they are wonderfully managed properties.  (We stayed in House 800.)  Highly, highly recommend.

As the second largest city, Split is obviously a year round place that doesn’t shut down for the season.  There is a pride among people from Split as well as a disproportionate number of Olympic athletes.  With its cobblestoned old town and great seafront promenade, like Budapest did, Split was lively and fun and exceeded our expectations.  We did some of the recommended site seeing, challenged ourselves to find above average food (Konoba Marjan, Villa Spiza, Uje Oil Bar, Wine& Cheese Bar Paradox, and Restaurant Dvor were all solid triples) and of course hiked. 

337.JPG

Hike #3:  The Urban Hike in Cute Shoes

A favorite hike you must do in Split is climb Marjan Hill which is located on the city’s peninsula with the city to one side and the sea on the other.  A longer and steeper climb with footpaths most but not all the way, it is advised to ditch the cute shoes in favor of running shoes.  Ballbach shoes that weren’t mine were also found running up Marjan Hill several mornings.

Hike #4:  The Unfortunate Hike to Dinner

Some walks turn into hikes when maps don’t help you anticipate walking the long way around bodies of water in the dark.  Those are never fun on an empty stomach and 15 minutes past your reservation.  Then again, who needs reservations in the off season except the one time you don’t.  So if you want to have dinner at Restaurant Dvor, call a cab and if you want to get a table at Tavern Matejuska, make a reservation.  Thankfully before dinner that night, we finally got our swim in (though with suits on.)

Leaving Split in route to Zadar for one night before our flight home, the plan was to drive into Bosnia-Hercegovina to add another country to the kids expanding list and then either make a second attempt in Sibenik or head for a final hike in Krka National Park.  The Bosnia plan was thwarted when we drove out of our way deep into the hills to a lonely border crossing only to be inexplicably sent away in gruff Croatian (USA citizens don’t need visas and so our passports should have been enough.)  Watching the next car pass through the border in our rear view mirror, our only conclusion was that maybe we needed to pay a bribe.  Honestly, I was a bit relieved as there was something eerie being in a place so desolate and disquieting to read constant reminders about care when walking off trail due to mines left from the Balkan War. 

Hike #5:  The There Could be Snakes Hike

After that, we opted for Krka National Park which was totally the right choice.  Visited by almost 750,000 people a year, the cascading waterfalls of Krka National Park are not to be missed.  You enter the park by car, park and then hike along elevated foot paths.  At the beginning of the hike, you will see signage of the types of flora and fauna found in the habitat and there WILL be pictures of snakes.  This was deeply troubling to some members of our family who shall remain nameless.  Like the eternity of a spiritless basketball game that only turns on in the last two minutes of the game is a hike with someone you love with a phobia who finally releases the death grip in the last hundred meters.

Hike #6:  The Itty Bitty Hike

Zadar is tiny and sleepy and aside from the The Sea Organ and Greeting to the Sun light tiles is an overnight kind of place.  Then again, maybe we were just tired. 

                                                                                                                                                   

Black Friday

On this Black Friday
Nothing purchased
Nothing accomplished
Instead may your gratitude hang over
Into longing for
Transcendent moments of joy
The divine tickle in the ordinary
Unconstrained by reason
The whispered reassurance you have enough, are enough
Inexplicably fueling
Persistence in knotty places
Peace in things still unknown
Potentially, hope in sorrow
On a different Friday
Something was purchased
Everything accomplished.

Unscheduled appointments

Like a plumber who arrives unannounced

To finally tend to some clogged drains

 

Excavating debris from places unknown

Every hair out of place and now on display

 

Replacing valves narrowed by calcification

Hard leaking out and encrusting itself as scale

 

We would have swiped the traps had we known

Snaked the drains to show we tried

 

Instead the towels are all hanging out

Not expecting company

 

It is hard to tell with this visitant

Too embarrassed are we to lock eyes

 

He sees the mess we're in

With judgment we can only suppose.

 

Afterwards, we scamper around tidying

With brush and bleach in hand

 

A deeper clean than normal

Reinforcing our capacity for Good Housekeeping

 

The mirror now sparkles, “Ready.”

Forgetting the blocked water flow solved

 

Oh the hubris, the silliness to think

We can keep it all pristine

That a hair shall never fall out our heads

That hard water is ours alone to bear

 

Something is forgotten

We were not the ones who called for help?

 

Eating through Paris's Canal St Martin

I had my first passing encounter with the Canal St. Martin back in March of this year when I was in Paris for the day with my French-speaking expat friend Angela.   We started our day having coffee at the Hotel du Nord (102 quai de Jemmapes), the epicenter of this popular bohemian neighborhood.   Engrossed in conversation, I don’t remember much about the coffee but I do remember taking pictures of the beautiful tile floor and mentally recording that this was Angela’s favorite neighborhood in Paris.  I determined then to come back. 

This past Thursday was that day.  My impression of the 10th arrondisement up until Angela’s swoon was that it was home to two of Paris’s main train stations – the Gare du Nord and  the Gare de ‘Est – and therefore best to be avoided.  Tis true that there’s a lot of unsavoriness around those quarters, but a quick walk east from the Gare de ‘Est through the Jardin Villemin lands you right in the heart of the happening section of the 4.5 km long Canal.  I first headed north on the Canal towards Place de Stalingrad, but unless its exercise you’re after – that would be the wrong direction.  Everything worth seeing in the neighborhood is tightly compacted south between Rue Des Recollets and Rue Du Faubourg du Temple and straddles a few streets deep on both sides of the Canal meaning you have a nice manageable area to master.   (The goal posts are Boulevard de Magneta to the east Rue Saint Maur to the west.)  It was my lightest walking Paris day and truly the only day where I never got lost.

In the spirit of truthiness, the waterway itself for me was honestly a little underwhelming.  The still operational hydraulic life bridges were a fun throwback to a different time, but there’s something very sad and angst producing about non-moving water.   With traffic whizzing by on both sides of the Canal, even with the bordering of trees in fall colors, it’s loud and a bit scruffy by day.  Unlike along the Seine, I saw no lovers on a midday stroll.   On the plus side, it’s less crowded than many other parts of the city and though home to a hipster crowd (especially at night with bars and clubs) it’s not overrun by them.  It’s a neighborhood in that sweet spot of gentrification where everyone still seems welcome and beauty remains in the eye of the beholder.

001.JPG

However, what might be lost in visual appeal is more than made up for in food options.  Nowhere else in Paris have I seen more cool coffee shops, bakeries, ethnic eats, traditional bistros, and chic bistros clustered so close together.  It felt a bit like the fashionable Shoreditch area of East London, albeit a smaller footprint with less curbside appeal.  I researched where to eat and drink from several local Paris blogs and sampled a lot.   There really aren’t any sites or museums to see in the area – so you won’t feel any guilt about missing something when you’re hanging out in your third café.   There is also boutique shopping in the neighborhood notably around Rue Beaurepaire and Rue de Marseille that I casually checked out, but any peek at my closet would prove I gravitate towards chasing another coffee shop over shoes any day.

Here’s what I sampled :

Ten Belles (10, Rue de la Grange aux Belles).  It’s a minor let down when your first destination is even smaller than described and across the street from a laundry mat, but any place that announces where your coffee beans are from (mine were from Kenya) deserve a second look.  On that second look, I spotted some homemade scones on the pint size service counter and killer granola (high praise from this granola snob) on the table I almost took down while standing in line.  Not necessarily a place for journal writing, it is definitely, definitely a place to throw around your bean knowledge and nibble on whatever they are serving.  Chez Adele (10, Rue de la Grande aux Belles), a well-lived in spot for live music is next door as is the Pink Flamingo (67 Rue Bichat), a late night pizza joint where the most popular pizza is called “L’Obama.”  Quiet for most of the day, you could tell that come evening this corner would be hopping.

Holybelly (19, rue Lucien Sampaix).  Porland has come to Paris.  “Is it local?” you ask yourself. According to the menu, not just fresh and local, also nothing frozen or microwaved.   BAM to France’s industrial food reputation!  Serious coffee + serious breakfast.  And when I mean serious breakfast I don’t mean soft boiled eggs and toast.  I mean pancakes and eggs with sides.  I didn’t eat because I was still digesting my scones but was so profoundly moved seeing the hearty pancakes lathered in butter and real maple syrup and smelling authentic bacon that I accidentally oversugared my cappuccino.  Conveniently opened on weekends for hangovers.  Closed Tues and Wed.  Be prepared to hear an abundance of English.  Bob’s Juice Bar (15, rue Lucien Sampaix.)  Just a few doors down the street from Holybelly is this organic juice bar that also serves food.  Go for the juice (so I hear), not the ambiance. 

Du Pain et des Idées (34, rue Yves Toudic ).  You know you’re at the right bakery when there’s a queue at an off peak time and a couple of Japanese tourists in front of you.   I skipped the delicious looking and varied loaves of bread in favor of the spread of pastries including pinwheels filled with pistachio and thin crusted seasonal apple tarts (to take home I might add, lest you think you I went all oompa loompa.)   This place is clearly an institution and their uncommon selection of pastries explains why.   Worth crossing town for if you’re looking to expand beyond pain au chocolat.

Craft (24, rue des Vinaigriers).  On the other side of the Canal from Ten Belles is this coffee shop/co-working space.  Coffee was above average but the place is really all about plugging in your laptop and paying 3 euros per hour to so.  Great for road warriors who need to get work done, but less appealing for those who want to cozy up with a book or friend.  If you’ve come to Paris to eat healthy or run a marathon, Sol Semilla (23, rue des Vinaigries) – a vegan superfood restaurant across the street looked v. good.

Liberte (39, rue de Vinaigriers).  Different than most French bakeries, Liberte is a swanky year old bakery situated on a corner with small platoon of bakers working in an open mostly white industrial kitchen.  There’s something to love about bread baking on site.  It was hard to choose what to bring home between the breads, loads of pastries, and stuffed savory breads but settled on their grainiest loaf and a per kilo chunk of their house crusty bread.  You know you’ve lived in Europe for a while when you request a specific piece (not the end, please) that suits your fancy.   Also tried their chocolate loaf which looked amazing but only tasted so-so.  More savory options than Du Pain et des Idees.   If fast food is what you’re after, right next door is The Sunken Chip (39, rue des Vinaigriers), Paris’s first British run fish and chips shop.

La Chambre aux Oiseaux (48, Rue Bichat.)  Cozy like your grandmother’s living room complete with heavy wallpaper and mismatched mugs for an afternoon cup of loose tea.  Crisscrossing this spot several times during the day and landing in the late afternoon when I need a comfy chair to rest in, it was always full of women chatting and MacBook screens glowing.  They also have a nice looking simple breakfast menu along with their own house jams and open early.

Philou (12, rue Richerand).  Given all the cafe options it was hard to settle on a lunch spot, but Philou was one the places that consistently showed up on all the blogs.  A traditional French bistro using seasonal ingredients, Philou is a neighborhood favorite and now I know why.  I ordered the three course Menu du Midi for 19 euros which came with: a petite mushroom quiche and small perfectly dressed salad with herbs, the best beef burgundy I have ever known, and a crème caramel with a compote of apples and touch of mint.  Not only delicious but also perfectly sized.  Nice service too which in Paris is not a given.  Cross town for this one.  Last minute booking worked for me.

Le Petit Cambodge (20, rue Alibert).  Continuously open through lunch and dinner, this is a great spot for take away Cambodian noodles which I did for dinner on the train.  Packed at lunch everyone orders the bobun (similar to a Vietnamese Bun Bo Xao noodle salad with a few less herbs) for a well spent 10 euros.  I had read about the passion fruit/hazelnut tart at the gluten-free bakery next door, Helmut Newcake but then decided against it.  If you’re not gluten free already I reasoned, no sense starting in Paris. 

Two other places I didn’t try but you won’t miss given their prime real estate and blog chatter are Chez Prune (36, rue Beaurepaire) the café  that put this neighborhood on the map and L’Atmosphere.  Another popular spot I’d read a lot about and went to have a late afternoon glass of wine is Le Verre Vole (67, rue Lancry).  Unfortunately for me, I was sent away (though kindly I might add) as they are a restaurant/wine shop but not a bar.  Watching a woman peel potatoes at one of the tables, I wished I could stay and help.   Had I known Le Verre Vole wasn’t a bar, I may have stayed on the other side of the Canal near Le Petit Cambodge  to sample a cocktail at Le Zelda (6, rue Bichat) which opens at 6pm.

And there you have it.  A day of very good eats.

Happiness is

Happiness is. Scratch that. Too ambitious. A happy day is:

  1. Little things that don’t make you want to grumble.
  2. Out of reach things that move in a little closer.
  3. The tingling warmth of filtered sun playing peekaboo with the clouds.
  4. As in a dream sequence, the unannounced thought bubble of a friend which causes you to send a silent virtual squeeze.
  5. Insisting your body GO and then testifying to it going further than it wants.
  6. The disarming appreciation of what was supposed to be a semi-random act of kindness.
  7. The likeness of someone you once knew in the face of a stranger.
  8. When direction doesn’t come in stereo, but becomes audible as the faint sound of bass when your ear presses down into the pillow.
  9. The delight of a freshly sharpened pencil and a well-worn Moleskine.
  10. The conviction, even if more fleeting than you want, that everything has the potential to cut both ways.

Wine, Dine and Tweet

Never has there been a time when a great idea, a job well done, or talent been enough on its own.   Dues have to be paid, hours logged, and a stroke of luck – or good timing – has always been the basic recipe for success and advancement.  Great hair also never hurt.

Today, genuinely created value and measured tenacity aren’t enough.   It’s the noisemakers who win.   Shameless self-promotion has become our Common Core. 

Musicians are expected to get people to their casino gig and cultivate online fan groups.  Employees seeking advancement either have to jump ship to get noticed or overshoot every target, preferably into the lap of a senior executive.  Writers, especially in the advent of self-publishing, are required to spend more time pedaling then penning their masterpiece.  Marketers are constantly trolling for new customer bases while beseeching their existing customer base to upgrade NOW.  Soon our college applicants will be asked to submit a song and dance along with their essay.  In the age of wine, dine and tweet, everyone needs their own personal marketing plan.

It’s a lot of racket.  With so much choice and the lack of time and resource to sift through the real talent/best product/most worthy candidate, mediocrity prospers.  Attention is a limited commodity and the loudest voices hold court.  It's labor intensive to filter the message from the messenger.  Some other things are lost with all this YOU, INC. noise.

First, it demotivates.  Talented people understand positive motivation involves extrinsic reward or punishment.  They are inherently adaptable because they know how to read what will resonate with their audience.  However, nothing slows a person down quite like an arbitrary stick in the eye simply because your megaphone volume was turned down too low.

Secondly, there’s the ick factor.   It doesn’t take too many conversations turned talking points for a gifted non-salesy person to feel like a fraud or a walking selfie using his or her most flattering filter.  No one wants to be the guy who’s asking for the ball every time down the court.  Talented people need to be ready for the pitch, but it’s hard to feel authentic – and virtually impossible to listen well – when you’ve been conditioned to treat every interaction as a marketing tactic or a play-by-play of your recent achievements that sniff of a bad combination of Tony Robbins and Gandhi.

Third, it takes time away from the real work.  Valuable energy that could be poured into the work itself instead has to build Powerpoints and dinky dead-end websites and schedule meetings with busy people who will never see your actual work.   Instead of the reasonable challenge of working in a competitive landscape, you’re surrounded by armies of able and more than a few incompetent people launching blind missives in hopes of landing an audience with Oprah or the next ice bucket challenge.   The real work not only moves to the margins of your time, less of it gets done.

And finally, a few gems get overlooked.  In a saturated market, you need more impressions.  You can’t be heads down and expect that someone will notice even if you have a Matisse on your hands.  Everyone needs to arbitrate for themselves sometimes, but you’ll never see the self-possessed or humble make that their primary goal.  It’s like when a wave circles through a stadium, the true sports fan might join in the first time, maybe even the second time, but at some point, he’ll miss the wave and stay seated, eyes glued to the game.   The work always means more than the circus around the work.

Make Room

I see the words whiz by my head

Looking for a place to settle

Shut out by I can’t

Twisted into something less

Not fill in the blank enough is here

Choosing what abounds

Leaving rubbish as it goes

A cheerful heart not strong enough medicine

To clear these swollen rooms

Any attempt to partition foiled

Insatiable is this multiplying terrorist

I must bid self-loathing leave

Insist on it in fact

To make room for all that is good

To make room for even more

A Middle School Phone Contract

My middle schooler got a phone this week.  Actually my old phone with a new SIM card and his own number.  I really don’t know if it’s a good idea, but as any parent knows – the pressure is enormous (imagine the horror of being “the last one of his friends without a phone…”) and well, there is some merit (“I didn’t know you were waiting …) in equipping them with communication tools as they become more independent.  It’s also the age where being explicit helps, so I drafted a contract my middle schooler and I agreed to and signed.  I feel better.  I don’t know how he feels, but I do know he got the message.  And in this case, that’s good enough.

  1. This phone is a responsibility that you have earned.  It is your responsibility to care for this phone, keep it charged and use it responsibly with things you send and look at.   You should never let someone else use your phone without your permission as anything that happens on this phone is your responsibility.
  2. This phone is also a privilege.  Your parents have the right to take it away at any time as a consequence.
  3. When you are away from home, it is your responsibility to keep the phone accessible so we may reach you.
  4. This phone has unlimited text and data in Luxembourg. If you are traveling outside of Lux, it is your responsibility to turn off cellular data and only use data on wifi. You may do limited texting and calling when outside Luxembourg.  
  5. You may only download apps after getting permission from your parents. 
  6. This phone is the property of your parents until such time as you are able to pay your own monthly bill. 
  7. Your parents may check your phone activity at any time.   Your passcode of xxxx should never change.  We expect that you treat people with the same kindness and respect on social media as you would in person.
  8. If this phone is lost or stolen, it is your responsibility to purchase a replacement phone.

"After the Party"

You know you've been over listening to music when you start to think about new lyrics for a favorite song.  Mumford & Sons "After the Storm"  had me thinking ...

 

And after the party,

I clean and clean as the dishes come

And I scrub, I scrub-a-dub

On my feet and out of suds

I scrub-a-dub.

 

Celebrity chefs have pushed us gourmet

You must have aperitifs to be okay

But I won't cave, I won't cave

Yes this time, but not the next

I won't cave.

 

And I took all the glasses I had,

And we drank lots,

And remembered our own name,

Who we poured for.

 

And there will come a time, I’ve seen, when this kitchen will again be clean

And leftovers will not be condemned, but were foreseen

Get out the vacuum and see what you find under there,

With power to your crumb saber and a little hip fanfare.

 

And now I cling to this plastic wrap

I used to know how it worked

But oh no more

That’s why I wish,

That why I wish I’d gone with foil.

That’s why I wish.

 

And I could just wait.

For my children to wake up.

Oh this is good.

Because I pay the rent and they do not.

Well I’m scared of caked on food and seen their work.

Oh never mind.

Not this time.

 

But there will come a time, I’ve seen, when this kitchen will again be clean

And leftovers will not be condemned, but were foreseen

Get out the vacuum and see what you find under there,

With power to your crumb saber and a little hip fanfare.