Happiness is

Happiness is. Scratch that. Too ambitious. A happy day is:

1. Little things that don’t make you want to grumble.
2. Out of reach things that move in a little closer.
3. The tingling warmth of filtered sun playing peekaboo with the clouds.
4. As in a dream sequence, the unannounced thought bubble of a friend which causes you to send a silent virtual squeeze.
5. Insisting your body GO and then testifying to it going further than it wants.
6. The disarming appreciation of what was supposed to be a semi-random act of kindness.
7. The likeness of someone you once knew in the face of a stranger.
8. When direction doesn’t come in stereo, but becomes audible as the faint sound of bass when your ear presses down into the pillow.
9. The delight of a freshly sharpened pencil and a well-worn Moleskine.
10. The conviction, even if more fleeting than you want, that everything has the potential to cut both ways.

Wine, Dine and Tweet

Never has there been a time when a great idea, a job well done, or talent been enough on its own.   Dues have to be paid, hours logged, and a stroke of luck – or good timing – has always been the basic recipe for success and advancement.  Great hair also never hurt.

Today, genuinely created value and measured tenacity aren’t enough.   It’s the noisemakers who win.   Shameless self-promotion has become our Common Core. 

Musicians are expected to get people to their casino gig and cultivate online fan groups.  Employees seeking advancement either have to jump ship to get noticed or overshoot every target, preferably into the lap of a senior executive.  Writers, especially in the advent of self-publishing, are required to spend more time pedaling then penning their masterpiece.  Marketers are constantly trolling for new customer bases while beseeching their existing customer base to upgrade NOW.  Soon our college applicants will be asked to submit a song and dance along with their essay.  In the age of wine, dine and tweet, everyone needs their own personal marketing plan.

It’s a lot of racket.  With so much choice and the lack of time and resource to sift through the real talent/best product/most worthy candidate, mediocrity prospers.  Attention is a limited commodity and the loudest voices hold court.  It's labor intensive to filter the message from the messenger.  Some other things are lost with all this YOU, INC. noise.

First, it demotivates.  Talented people understand positive motivation involves extrinsic reward or punishment.  They are inherently adaptable because they know how to read what will resonate with their audience.  However, nothing slows a person down quite like an arbitrary stick in the eye simply because your megaphone volume was turned down too low.

Secondly, there’s the ick factor.   It doesn’t take too many conversations turned talking points for a gifted non-salesy person to feel like a fraud or a walking selfie using his or her most flattering filter.  No one wants to be the guy who’s asking for the ball every time down the court.  Talented people need to be ready for the pitch, but it’s hard to feel authentic – and virtually impossible to listen well – when you’ve been conditioned to treat every interaction as a marketing tactic or a play-by-play of your recent achievements that sniff of a bad combination of Tony Robbins and Gandhi.

Third, it takes time away from the real work.  Valuable energy that could be poured into the work itself instead has to build Powerpoints and dinky dead-end websites and schedule meetings with busy people who will never see your actual work.   Instead of the reasonable challenge of working in a competitive landscape, you’re surrounded by armies of able and more than a few incompetent people launching blind missives in hopes of landing an audience with Oprah or the next ice bucket challenge.   The real work not only moves to the margins of your time, less of it gets done.

And finally, a few gems get overlooked.  In a saturated market, you need more impressions.  You can’t be heads down and expect that someone will notice even if you have a Matisse on your hands.  Everyone needs to arbitrate for themselves sometimes, but you’ll never see the self-possessed or humble make that their primary goal.  It’s like when a wave circles through a stadium, the true sports fan might join in the first time, maybe even the second time, but at some point, he’ll miss the wave and stay seated, eyes glued to the game.   The work always means more than the circus around the work.

Make Room

I see the words whiz by my head

Looking for a place to settle

Shut out by I can’t

Twisted into something less

Not fill in the blank enough is here

Choosing what abounds

Leaving rubbish as it goes

A cheerful heart not strong enough medicine

To clear these swollen rooms

Any attempt to partition foiled

Insatiable is this multiplying terrorist

I must bid self-loathing leave

Insist on it in fact

To make room for all that is good

To make room for even more

A Middle School Phone Contract

My middle schooler got a phone this week.  Actually my old phone with a new SIM card and his own number.  I really don’t know if it’s a good idea, but as any parent knows – the pressure is enormous (imagine the horror of being “the last one of his friends without a phone…”) and well, there is some merit (“I didn’t know you were waiting …) in equipping them with communication tools as they become more independent.  It’s also the age where being explicit helps, so I drafted a contract my middle schooler and I agreed to and signed.  I feel better.  I don’t know how he feels, but I do know he got the message.  And in this case, that’s good enough.

1. This phone is a responsibility that you have earned.  It is your responsibility to care for this phone, keep it charged and use it responsibly with things you send and look at.   You should never let someone else use your phone without your permission as anything that happens on this phone is your responsibility.
2. This phone is also a privilege.  Your parents have the right to take it away at any time as a consequence.
3. When you are away from home, it is your responsibility to keep the phone accessible so we may reach you.
4. This phone has unlimited text and data in Luxembourg. If you are traveling outside of Lux, it is your responsibility to turn off cellular data and only use data on wifi. You may do limited texting and calling when outside Luxembourg.  
5. You may only download apps after getting permission from your parents. 
6. This phone is the property of your parents until such time as you are able to pay your own monthly bill. 
7. Your parents may check your phone activity at any time.   Your passcode of xxxx should never change.  We expect that you treat people with the same kindness and respect on social media as you would in person.
8. If this phone is lost or stolen, it is your responsibility to purchase a replacement phone.

"After the Party"

You know you've been over listening to music when you start to think about new lyrics for a favorite song.  Mumford & Sons "After the Storm"  had me thinking ...

And after the party,

I clean and clean as the dishes come

And I scrub, I scrub-a-dub

On my feet and out of suds

I scrub-a-dub.

Celebrity chefs have pushed us gourmet

You must have aperitifs to be okay

But I won't cave, I won't cave

Yes this time, but not the next

I won't cave.

And I took all the glasses I had,

And we drank lots,

And remembered our own name,

Who we poured for.

And there will come a time, I’ve seen, when this kitchen will again be clean

And leftovers will not be condemned, but were foreseen

Get out the vacuum and see what you find under there,

With power to your crumb saber and a little hip fanfare.

And now I cling to this plastic wrap

I used to know how it worked

But oh no more

That’s why I wish,

That why I wish I’d gone with foil.

That’s why I wish.

And I could just wait.

For my children to wake up.

Oh this is good.

Because I pay the rent and they do not.

Well I’m scared of caked on food and seen their work.

Oh never mind.

Not this time.

But there will come a time, I’ve seen, when this kitchen will again be clean

And leftovers will not be condemned, but were foreseen

Get out the vacuum and see what you find under there,

With power to your crumb saber and a little hip fanfare.

Travel Quiz: Is this destination right for you?

Most of us love a beach.  Here’s a summer beach holiday worth looking into if …

1.       “Unspoilt” is not a scary word.  Zahara de los Atunes is on 20 km of white sandy beautiful coastline along the Atlantic (Costa de la Luz) in Southwest Spain without a through road and still free of high rise condos.   It is much less well known than the popular with Brits, highly developed area of the Costa del Sol on the Mediterranean. 

2.       You lean towards authentic and away from resort.   Zahara is a true beach destination not a glammed up resort town catering to sun seeking Europeans.   You’ll find way fewer sunbeds per capita, but have more chance of soaking up the culture. (And feel completely safe I might add as an American woman traveling alone with her children.)  Google it and you’ll see that most of the available information/reviews are in Spanish.  We literally heard a language other than Spanish only a handful of times.

3.       Laying on a beach qualifies as an activity.  Trip Advisor lists 5 activities you can do in Zahara and all of them are located on the beach.  Flying a kite is one of them.

4.       You underpacked.  Shorts, tee-shirts, flip flops, tanning lotion, and bikini top (optional).  If anywhere in Zahara had a dress code, no one was abiding it.  You can even drip dry while eating lunch in the sand at one of the beach shack chiringuitos, which you will definitely want to do because you should miss no meal while in Zahara.  

5.       You have hyper sensitive feet.  Beautiful clear sand combined with winds to keep it cool mean you can look cool getting from beach towel to the water’s edge.

6.       You have modest surfing aspirations.  The wind was good enough for body surfing (without significant undertow), but didn’t seem strong enough for surfing.  Most serious surfers go 30 km further south to Tarifa.

7.       You’ve seen photos of beach running in Runner’s World and made a plan.   Zahara’s one main beach is wide, flat and 9 km long – a dream beach for walking or running at low tide.  With a beach that long, you also won’t feel bad about carving out your own full size beach volleyball/soccer pitch.   

8.       You like tuna.   Zahara is the tuna capital of the world and it’s served on every menu, but the preparations are even more varied and delicious than you could imagine.  Red tuna is the specialty.

9.       You like to walk to tuna.  There are 70 or so restaurants in Zahara, all within walking distance.  You don’t have to be choosy as the eating is categorically amazing and affordable.  The driving and parking is less than amazing, so leave your car as soon as you arrive.

10.   You probably already live in Europe.   Zahara remains “unspoilt” in part because it’s not easy to access.  Only small planes, most coming from Madrid, fly into the airport of Jerez which is a little more than an hour’s drive to Zahara.   The next nearest airport is in Seville. 

11.   You’ve been to Barcelona and now have a thing for Spain.  Zahara will only make you like it that much more. 

South of France

Week in South of France (Dordogne/Lot) where there’s less doing and more being, where there’s a daily farmers market somewhere within 30 km, where the day’s biggest decision is which country road to run or bike, where the only TV viewing is to follow the Tour de France, where there’s enough unscheduled time to have your teen say over a hand of cards “You know what I’ve never told anyone…”, where your husband has quiet space to work 10 hour days and then jump in the pool after dinner and then jump in the car to drive 90 minutes to Toulouse airport to spend a couple of working days in London, where boys spend hours making “cool catch” videos, where you meander through cute French villages and stopover in Paris for lunch on the drive home, and where you come home to rain and it’s totally, 100% ok.   

We used Pure France to find our villa. 

The rest of the photos:

Greek Isles, Big Smiles: Paros Travel Guide

PARDON, PAROS?

Paros is one of the islands in the Cyclades.  Many people have heard of the nearby islands of Santorini (purty!), Mykonos (party!) and Naxos (big!) but fewer have heard of Paros.  One of the reasons for its lack of star recognition is that there isn’t a large airport in Paros.  There are however plans to build up the airport to receive international flights in about five years, so go before then!  Today, Paros must be reached by ferry meaning the island is equipped for tourists but not teeming with them.  Thanks to a recent Italian film set in Paros, we were told that most tourists are from Italy, France, Norway and Australia.  Further down the list are the (pastier) Americans and Brits.

Most people island hop every three to four days.  We choose instead to “settle in” on Paros and didn’t run out of things to do with nine days.  If you like the idea of “settling in” but still have an itch to see some of the other islands, there are tons of guided or unguided day trips by boat/ferry to the nearby islands. 

WHEN TO GO:

June and September are the absolute best months to go.  The water is warm and the pace more relaxed.  The height of busy season is July 10 – August 25 where the average age of the island drops to 18-25 years old and the temperature increases a few degrees with hottest temps in July.   Thankfully, Paros generally enjoys a light breeze (though it was unseasonably windy a few days we were there) to keep you cooler on the hotter days.  For families especially, you should try to grab one of tail ends of the season which gets you all the benefits (including lower rates) without the crowds.

LODGING:

The Paliomylos Hotel in Naoussa, a complex of 25 studios and suites with a hearty breakfast for an extra charge is a gem of a place.  The rooms are simple but well equipped and clean, and the staff especially owner Chrys is attentive and friendly.  The other owner Kostas focuses less on guest services but is always working to keep the hotel facilities in top shape.  While we were there they were in the process of opening up a small spa.  The hotel is 50 meters from Piperi Beach and a 7 minute walk into the seaside town of Naoussa – the “destination town” of the island.   Paliomylos is opened from April – October and books out the entire summer well in advance.  They have a lot of repeat business.  Only downside is that the pool is small (though of less consequence given the island’s great beaches) and the rooms adjacent to the pool don’t have a terrace or balcony.  If you book, just be clear on whether sea view is important to you.   We typically gravitate towards apartment rentals as a family of five, but when the food is so good and cheap in Greece you don’t need to save a buck by cooking in making a hotel studio option ideal.  We only used the frig to store cold drinks.

I don’t insist that you stay at Paliomylos but I do insist that you stay somewhere close to Naoussa.   Located on the northern shore of Paros, Naoussa village has countless options for dining, more outdoor cafes that you’d have time to linger in, and lovely boutiques.  We referred to it as “Sun Valley Light” – charming but without the out-of-reach wealth.   The absolute highlight of our stay was being able to walk into Naoussa in the early morning for coffee and every evening for dinner.  It’s the kind of safe that makes you comfortable to have you kids walk around on their own. 

TRANSPORTATION:

If you stay close to Naoussa, a rental car isn’t entirely necessary.  We opted to rent a car as needed which ended up being 3 of the 9 days we were there.  Each time the rental car (with varying levels of gas in the tank) was delivered to the hotel for us and the cost was around 55 euros for the day.  We left the keys at the hotel front desk for the car to be picked up the next morning with “approximately” the same amount of gas.  A few days we took a taxi to and from a destination beach which was fun as we got to know a couple of local taxi drivers.  If you don’t have young kids, most people rent scooters or quads to get around the island. The narrow streets and the one main road that rings the island are all shared by cars, scooters, bikes and pedestrians – so beware and go      s l o w.

BEACHES

You don’t go to Greece to surf, but if beautiful sandy beaches are what you are looking for Paros has them in spades.  And, they have a good mix of “organized” beaches and small private-like beaches.   Here are our top beach picks:

1) Kolimbithres Beach. A protected beach 4 km from Naoussa which is especially good for families and windy days.   It can be accessed by car/scooter or more fun, by fishing boat from Naoussa Village.  The boat leaves twice an hour and gives you awesome views of Naoussa.  There are two tavernas behind the beach for lunch.   Another boat also leaves for nearby Monastiri Beach, though this beach is even smaller and more protected and best for families with very small children.  “Laid back beach close to town with boat ride.” – Quinn “Small, nice beach.  Stays shallow for a long time with lots of rocks.” – Lawton “Least favorite of three.  Quite small, umbrellas too close to water.” - Colin

Kolimbithres Beach

2) Santa Maria Beach.  An “organized” long beach 5km from Naoussa on Northeast tip of the island looking out on Naxos.  It can be accessed by car/scooter or for a fast ride -  by taxi for 12 euros.  Santa Maria has services (umbrellas and chairs to rent), a beach bar, beach toys to rent, dance club music and lots of beautiful people.  “Big popular beach but really nice.” – Quinn “Nice big beach.  You should swim out to see coral reef.  Lemonade is amazing.” – Lawton “My favorite beach because you can go out so far and still stand.”  -  Colin

Santa Maria Beach

3) Faragas Beach.  An “organized” beach (spelled at least four different ways) 25 km from Naoussa on the Southern tip of the island with two private beaches adjacent to it.  It must be accessed by car/scooter or a family willing to run a hot almost marathon together.  Where Santa Maria is club music, Faragas is classical music by morning and soft rock by afternoon with an excellent bar and toilets that were being cleaned 3 out of 4 times we used them.  But it’s the private beaches just over the rocks from the clean toilets and the Frappa Coffee that make this beach our #1.  It also helped that on our second visit to this beach we met some new (much younger) Greek friends who played hours of football and paddleball with us.   “Fancy beach.  Not as convenient, nicest bar. Fun place to go exploring.” – Quinn “My favorite beach because of three different parts.  Water was the warmest.  Lots of space to play soccer.” – Lawton “Best water, most comfortable to be in, best bathrooms.  Lemonade also really good.”  - Colin

Faragas Beach

EATING:

You do go to Greece to eat, and Paros has lots of excellent restaurants to choose from.  With a cumulative of 20 days in Paros over the last two summers, we have been to a number of restaurants.  Most of them are really, really good.  Fresh fish is hard to beat.  Here are our top eating out picks:

1.  Taverna Glafkos - special food in very special setting.  Book in advance.  (Because we weren't in peak season we were able to call day of for every restaurant with the exception of Sosa which we unfortunately missed on this trip.)

Taverna Glafkos

2.  Siparos - not in Naoussa but on way to Santa Maria Beach.  Great pastas and great setting.  Book in advance.

Siparos

3.  Yemeni - interior restaurant in village.  More interesting preparations of Greek fare.  Book in advance.

Not Yemeni, but this happened a lot in the evenings.  This was at Karina's All Day Tavern - a place with good food but slow service.

4.  Cafe Karinos - cafe in main square.  Lots of restaurants start with "K" so make sure it's this one.  Best coffee on island.  We went every morning for coffee and got to know the family who runs it.  In the evenings they bring out two big TVs to show the World Cup, Wimbledon and the Tour de France.  We went every night there was a football match.  Great spot to relax with a cold beverage and also above average food (breakfast food in particular.)  No need to book.

Cafe Karinos

5.  S.Cream - tasty Italian gelato served by our friend Koco.  Tell him the Ballbachs say hello!  No need to deprive yourself.  We tried to go daily.

S. Cream

 GETTING THERE:

Getting to Paros is not easy.  It’s pretty much a 24 hour proposition even from Central Europe.  The first time we went it also made our head hurt trying to figure it out, so hopefully these tips will save you a few steps. The complicating factor is that you need to catch one of the two daily Blue Star Ferries (which must be booked in advance) out of Piraeus; one that leaves at 7:25am and the second that leaves at 5:30pm and it’s an good 45 minute to 1 hour commute cross town from the Athens airport.  Given that, it’s advisable to overnight in Athens (or Piraeus) on your inbound and outbound legs.  You’ll likely want to see Athens anyway on one end of your trip.  We did our 36 hours in Athens on the return leg on our first trip to Paros. 

We flew Lufthansa from Lux > Munich > Athens.  On the way back, we flew SwissAir from Athens > Zurich > Lux.  Both times we had 45 minute layovers that were no problem for us or our luggage.  Booking well in advance, we got airfare for 260 euros per person.   The 4 hour ferry ride (Paros is the first stop followed by Naxos and then Santorini) on Blue Star Ferries is 70 euros per person (round trip) with assigned seats.  Highly recommend you pay for assigned rather than open seating on the ferry if traveling with kids.  (We left our kids in our assigned seats and went on to the deck to mingle with the fresh air and not-so-fresh cigarette smoke.) There is also a High Speed Ferry that cuts the time by at least half, but the prices are closer to airfare pricing.  

Another more expensive option is to fly into Santorini and then ferry 45 minutes to Paros. 

Arriving Paros

GETTING THERE CONTINUED:

On our first trip, we mistakenly bused (not busted) it across town from the Athens airport (after driving to and flying out of Brussels Charleroi instead of Luxembourg) to make the evening ferry.  This is not a grand idea.  For one, the buses from the airport are all commuter buses so incredibly slow, jam packed and not conducive for riders with luggage and cranky mothers worried about missing the ferry.  For two, the ferry ride should be a highlight of the travel not something to endure after a long day.   This time we cabbed it across town (in two cabs) to a hotel near the ferry for a flat rate of 46 euros per cab.  An uber good idea.  (With some additional planning, you can arrange for a van and save a few euros for gyros which we did on our airport return.) 

We overnighted on both legs in a quadruple room at the budget but very clean Phidias Piraeus Hotel for 69 euros.  Our room included the best wifi of the trip and a free shuttle to the ferry the next morning.  The hard-working Piraeus port isn’t a place known for great anything, but Brett found an awesome neighborhood restaurant he’d read about on a local food blog (a mystery location to our cab driver both times we went) that was worth the 5 euro cab fare.  Also worth walking around the nearby marina to see the incredible yachts which on our visit included a spotting of the 5th most expensive yacht in the world owned by the former Qatar Prime Minister.

The reward for getting there is to be SUN KISSED.

Paris in June

I haven't made it to Paris for a few months now, but Paris is on my mind.  My beautiful friend Alessandra asked me (trusted me!) to make her an agenda for a day trip this week.  She's been many times before, but with an imminent move to Seattle in a few weeks she didn't have the mind space to make a plan.  What a gift to me to be asked!  Ale is a talented photographer, so the day centers around two photography exhibits.  If you are in Paris this summer, here's an idea or two.

PARIS TRIP FOR ALE:  June 2014

9:00 – Arrive in Gare de l’Est.  Take Metro M5 (dark orange) towards Place d’Italie and get off at Bastille (6th stop) then walk 7 minutes to Saint Paul Saint Louis Church (99 Rue St-Antoine). 

9:30 –Saint-Paul Saint-Louis Church (99 Rue St-Antoine).   As you know, I like to start my morning off in a church to meditate and pray.  Quiet ones like this one are best.  Jesuit church on one of the main streets in the Marais.  Famous for Delacroix’s work “Christ in the Garden of Olives.”

10:00 Walk through Ile St Louis.  Walk 10 minutes crossing Seine to Ile St Louis to enjoy quiet of morning in a residential area.  Stroll down the Rue St Louis.  I then love crossing Pont St Louis bridge to take in back of Notre Dame and sit in the The Square Jean XXII.  When ready for coffee, cross back over Seine to great coffee shop on Hotel de Ville. 

10:30 Coffee in Marais at Cafeotheque  (52, rue de l’Hôtel de Ville, 4th). The coffee shop is run by a woman from Guatemala.  This is serious coffee where they do tastings in the evening.  You can get coffee at the bar in the back or sit down at one of the many cozy tables.  It’s pricey coffee but worth it.  After coffee, walk only 5 minutes to photography exhibit.

11:00 Francoise Huguier photography exhibit at Maison Européenne de la Photographie (MEP)  (5-7 rue de Fourcy in 4th.)  Exhibit opens at 11am and costs  €6.50  Exhibit is described as: “Straddling the boundary between fantasy and factual reportage, the photographs of Françoise Huguier present the viewer with a kind of veiled reality. Her work for such publications as Vogue and the New York Times sent Huguier to some of the most remote corners of the globe to snap everything from the Siberian tundra to a community of Colombian nuns; never content to photograph her subjects at face value, she injected an dreamlike energy into her images that raises them above the average.”

1:00 Casual not “proper” lunch in Marais. Three options for lunch heading away from Seine and into Marais: 1) Candaleria (mexican tacos)  52, rue de Saintonge (3rd) The taqueria is open all day, every day, Sunday-Wednesday 12:30pm-11pm .  Limited seating.  2) L’As du Fallafel 34, rue des Rosiers , closed Friday pm and Saturday. No seating, buy from window. Opens at noon. 3) Poliane Cuisine de Bar (sandwiches on Paris’s most famous bread) 38, rue Debelleyme (3rd).  Ample seating.  Any one of these places is a good option for dining solo.

3:00 Robert Mapplethorpe photography exhibit at the Grand Palais.  Exhibit opens at 10 and costs €12.  Metro or walk (25 minute walk) to the Grand Palais from the Marais.  Exhibit is described as “Robert Mapplethorpe was one of the great masters of art photography. He produced highly stylised black and white portraits, nudes and still lifes. Over and above the erotic power that made Mapplethorpe’s work famous, the exhibition presents the classic dimension of the artist’s work and his search for aesthetic perfection, through over 200 images that span his career from the early 1970s to his untimely death in 1989.” (Consider buying tickets online before you go.)

5:00 Walk through the Jardin des Tuileries  to the Palais-Royal garden to people watch and get inspired by the specialty shops and galleries around the square (10-15 minute walk from Grand Palais.)   A last trip to Paris isn’t complete without this favorite Parisian stop. 

6:00 Glass of wine and nibble at Verjus Bar à Vin (47 rue de Montpensier, 75001).  It’s only 5 minutes walking from Palais-Royal and one of the few places that opens at 6pm!  The restaurant doesn’t open until 7 but the wine bar opens at 6.  It’s a small plate, no-reservations wine bar.  I haven’t been but it’s an “absolute favorite” from Paris by Mouth.

7:00 High tail it back to the Gare de l’Est by metro or bus the 7:40 train.