House Rules

We have our first guests – my inlaws! – coming this Friday.  I am deliriously excited.  Also, I got three emails just yesterday with dates from other visitors.   So it feels like the right time to go through some expectations of house rules here in Luxembourg.

Please don’t ask me which way is North.  It’s only going to be awkward for both of us.  I have no sense of compass.  You may ask if such and such is up or down, or “that way” but I will panic if you throw in an East or West.  Chances are I’ll just say “yes” without having a clue.  This is the most important rule.

In anticipation of your visit, I bought this.  Please comment on it.  I want you to like it. I'm always thinking of practical things my guest might need, like a giant wall QR code.

New piece of art that you will like.​

I will try to keep one bathroom clean for you.  Also, I have big fluffy white towels that I’m saving just for you.  I also have this cool travel box full of compartments in our guest room.   I’m trying to contain myself so that I don’t fill the compartments with travel sized shampoo and razors.  I don’t want to appear over the top, and make you worry that you can’t use the big shampoo in the shower.  Notice the inclusion of the Luxembourg map for all your North/South questions. 

These compartments are sure to be full by the time you arrive.​

Some food photos lie.  Like this one.  I promise to not make it for you.  I was all excited about the fried onion, but nothing can save you from dry rice and al dente lentils.   Whoever suggested that lentils be cooked al dente was seriously misled.   Lesson learned is that you can’t always trust a pretty picture or marinated feta to cover up for a gravelly mess.

This picture is lying to you.​

I used to be all worried about making too much noise in the apartment.  I’m totally over that now, so use your American volume.  There’s maybe only max 10 other people living in our apartment building, so we pretty much have the run of the joint.  We will have a dance party when you are here (of the hip hop variety – we haven’t gone all Flamenco in the two months we’ve been here), and it may even spill out onto the terrace.  You may think I talk about dance parties a lot, and that’s because we haven’t had one here yet and I really, really want one.

You don’t have to offer to help in the kitchen.  In any other kitchen, maybe.  In this small kitchen, it’s best if you just sit with me and have a glass of wine.  And since we are in Luxembourg, it will be white wine.  You may think you want to try to Luxembourg Pinot, but it’s really not good and I’d rather save you some calories.  I have a system in the kitchen and it doesn’t involve four hands. Unless you want to peel garlic.  That would make me reconsider.

See this white table in the kitchen.  This is where I need you to sit.​  (I have a bar stool now.  I wasn't going to make you stand.)

We eat a lot of bread and are obsessed with bakeries.  Please don’t judge us.  We celebrate gluten.

If you were at all interested in running, hiking, or biking, my husband will give you more options than you are prepared to handle. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.  And he will definitely tag along. 

I may suggest that you ride the bus without paying.  This is because bus drivers are more annoyed when you try to pay than if you ride free.  Luxembourg is a rich city, so don’t feel bad about it. The bus driver may make more money than you do.

There are some recycling guidelines.  Best just to hand your trash to Brett.  He’ll re-class what you do anyway.  I’m sorry in advance if this makes you feel uncomfortable.  Join the club.

We won’t make you look at all our travel photos.  It’s kind of gross how many places we’ve been to, I realize that.  I guess I kind of expect that you will have already studied them from my blog anyway.  I will also take a lot of pictures when you are here.   You may edit them as I’ve been known to post a few pictures. Unless you’re a guy, and then I’ll think it’s totally weird that you want to have editorial oversight.

I’m a good driver now, so you can feel safe with me in the car.  It took moving to Europe to become a good driver, but I’m seriously killing it on the pavement.  No hit poles.  No hit cars.  And I can drive the narrow streets almost as good as a sedated 007.

Brett may try to pawn a book he’s read off on you.  He’s already trying to lighten our load for our return trip home.  In this vein, it would actually be great if you are a size 13 shoe.   But talk to me privately about this one.

We have wi-fi in the apartment, but it totally sucks.  I know I mention the wi-fi and internet in every other blog post, but it’s my way of processing.  Better that then sending emails using Google Translate that I will regret.  Everything you watch will buffer.  So if I were to film our dance party and post it on YouTube, you won’t be able to see your dancing in all its glory.

If there is a vitamin you need, I’m sure we have it.  We have a mini Costo in our Cave.  Speaking of the Cave, it’s our storage unit in the basement.  Brett will likely want to show you as he likes to reorganize it.  We only send our children down there for time outs when things get really rough.  That’s where you’ll go if you ask me “Are we looking west?”

(Insert picture of Cave if Brett were writing this post.) 

If you feel like I’m picking on my husband, I only do that in print.  I promise you won’t have to watch us bicker like an old married couple.  I really do like him.

Check in time is open, check out time is open.   Unfortunately, we can offer you only a room not a romantic suite but your children can be sent to the futon, the floor in the boys’ room, or the Cave – whichever you choose.  Breakfast/lunch/dinner is included as long as you follow the kitchen rules.  There is no room tax except your participation in a run/hike/bike with my husband and cleaning of the room is included – but there will be a charge if you steal the white fluffy towels.

Can’t wait to have you!

Celebrating a decade

​Colin, age 10

If you have a kid that’s giving you a run for your money, we have one too.  And tomorrow we get to celebrate a decade of life with him.   A decade I wouldn’t change for the world.

It gets better.  How do I know?  Because that one that gives me the biggest headache, the deepest heartache, also gives me the greatest joy.  And the joy comes from seeing him learn how to navigate the world in the package he was given.  It’s not enough to know that the kids like Colin who we lovingly describe as “pieces of work” are the same people that will change our world as adults (something I do believe), you want to see some of that work evolving on your watch.

None of us like to fail, some of us crumble at the mere potential of failure.   Colin is of the crumbling variety (crashing and burning in the toddler years), so historically he has avoided things he doesn’t feel like he’s good at.  So when Colin recently announced that he likes to draw faces in Art even though he’s not good at it, I did a little happy dance.  Ahh! How much more of the world opens up to you when you are willing to try something new.

And here, the world is opening up for Colin.  Sometimes it takes launching an inflexible person into a new and uncomfortable situation for them to see that they are more adaptable than they ever gave themselves credit for.  It’s a big reason we decided to make the move.  We wanted to give Colin some practice at learning how to deal with change (before adolescence hit.)  Colin was the first of our family to settle in to our new life here, and with that has come huge strides in confidence and independence.   He has taken the city bus on his own, has decided to forgo Baseball (a sport he’s good at) in the spring to try Track, and boldly uses his French to order for us in restaurants.

We celebrated Colin’s birthday this past weekend with a “Day of Colin.”  We did this in lieu of a birthday party since Colin couldn’t figure the right 10 year old party idea to host the six girls (three sets of twin girls he’s befriended) and three boys he wanted to invite.   (Friends with girls, consider this a heads up.)  The “Day of Colin” started with student-lead parent/teacher conferences at school (where he’s loving it), a stop at an athletic store for him to pick out something he wanted (technical shirt #38, Nike socks, and shoelaces!) his first club basketball game (where is the youngest and smallest player on his team and scored 8 points in the first quarter), homemade chocolate chip cookies (poorly executed), an indoor pool/water park (involving naked spa I mentioned on Facebook) and going out for hamburgers.

Coin, for 2!

There was much anticipation about all parts to the day, but maybe most about the hamburgers.  We had heard rave reviews about a café in Luxembourg that served great hamburgers, and it was a craving we had not satisfied since we moved to Europe.   We got there right when it opened (Brett dropped us off while he parked because we were THAT excited), and it was as cute and as good-smelling as advertised.  Happy Burger Birthday!  Almost.  Unfortunately, they couldn’t seat us.  We didn’t have a reservation and they were booked for the evening. For Hamburgers?  And to add insult to injury, the small dining room was completely empty at the moment we learned this news.  Now this is hard for people who are flexible, with 42 years of life experience, and who have not had red meat in two months.  But for the almost 10 year old...??? 

Yep, Colin rolled with it.  Completely.   He shook off the disappointment without any fuss, and rebounded with a suggestion for Plan B.  And Plan B – an Italian trattoria down the road – was a place we hadn’t even yet been too.  That’s the next level of flexibility when you can change course when something doesn’t go according to plan, and change that course to yet another unknown. 

But above all, Colin’s growth has been manifested most in his ability to receive love.  Some people need more convincing than others that they are deeply loved.  And when you are sandwiched between two brothers who are happy-go-lucky and you are not, it takes more than verbal assurances of love or love in action.  It also takes love between the lines.  Because people with a glass half empty hear more than just what you’re saying, they also hear your heart.  And you’re not born ready to handle that kind of input.  Because as we know, not everything being unsaid is a bed of roses.  So you need some skills on how to tune that kind of antennae.

The upside of those feelers however is that you have this incredible gateway towards sensitivity and empathy.  Colin knows even through a pinched smile when I am angry or frustrated.   He can feel when he’s in a situation that is “sketch.”   He can tell when someone at school is sad.  And now, he can say it himself when he is sad like he did yesterday to his brother in email – and know that it will pass.  In Seattle, when Colin was asked to say our dinner time prayer – he would always lead us in a time of silence (which was wonderfully welcome until it was interrupted by a giggle or burp, or both.)  I think that was largely because he didn’t know what to say.  Here though, Colin is volunteering most every night and he prays these long beautiful, heartfelt prayers that involve not just our family, but kids in Africa, and are layered with words of gratitude like last night where Colin thanked God for MY generosity towards him (which either had something to do with allowing him to raid my wallet for change or perhaps something more…) 

Optimism that comes naturally is a wonderful thing, but the kind that requires practice through gratitude is maybe even a little sweeter because it comes with a decision to ignore the part that isn’t always full. 

Happy Birthday to the kid that fills me up!

Some random awesome things

Some random awesome things from this week:

Some awesome things.  Extra virgin coconut oil , cookies in small packaging, Calgon that still "takes you away" 20 years later, and today's vitamins that I'm working up to.​

1. Finding a 2 euro coin in your pocket, which is like finding 10 US quarters but not really because you would know if 10 coins were jingling in your pocket.
2. Finishing a walk to meet someone exactly when your podcast ends.  And then having that someone (your husband) listen to you go on and on about what you heard on the podcast.   Proof is all in the follow up question and strong eye contact.
3. Believing against all odds that you will find a space in the full parking garage along with a half dozen other cars, and then finding the perfect illegal space.
4. Extra virgin coconut oil.  It doesn’t matter why you purchased it (to seal a wood cutting board) or how many places you have to go to find it (five) or why you kept hunting for it (because olive oil could go rancid on your cutting board) because it can do everything.  Not only can you seal with it, cook with it, but it’s also great for skin, hair, face and your entire body -- especially when it’s cold and dry.   You too can go to bed shiny and smelling like a teen on Spring Break!
5. Tweaking your approach (more direct) and tone (borderline snippy) with someone who keeps ignoring you (landlord) and having it work (I got his number!)
6. Swallowing your 7 daily vitamins without invoking your gag reflux.  Yes, Mom, I’m taking D3 and a whole bunch of other things that would make you proud.
7. Stumbling upon an empty wine shop with an English speaking Sommelier who can dumb it down when you offer specific guidance such as: “I like Spanish reds and dry whites.”  And since the place is empty, and you’ve developed a rapport with the Sommelier over a sample of a dry Luxembourg Riesling, you can say: “Tell me everything I should know about Luxembourg wines” without him hating you. 
8. Eight hours of clean bathrooms because everyone with a penis is gone, and then realizing that you really only needed two hours to cross the happiness threshold.
9. A technician troubleshooting your abnormally slow Internet connection not on the phone, or via a virtual web assistant, but finally on premise and in the flesh.  He is here right now face-to-face with that vexing modem.  Wait.  Hold.  The Internet technician has just put me on the phone with someone who can speak English.  She is telling me that the problem is with the entire network in Luxembourg and that it will be 1-2 weeks before it’s fixed.  Wait. Hold.  Then why did you send the Internet technician out to my house?  Okay, this no longer belongs on the awesome things list …. moving on.
10. Having the life experience to know that olives with the pits still in them are a million times tastier.
11. Running up a really steep hill, and then remembering that you can do it because it’s Unesco World Heritage fortress.   If they could do it in the 10th century, then I have no excuse having running shoes, clothes that wick, and chasing after faster friends instead of enemies.  Angela and Ale – watch your back!  I’m coming for you just as soon as these endorphins fire up!
12. “Jean on Jean” and “murses” (man purses) as totally acceptable male fashion choices in Europe.  Jessica spoke it, we’ve seen it, and all our husbands are moving closer towards it – the scarf being the first step.   (My husband is furthest behind.) 
13. Kindle eBooks with Audible’s audiobook.  Ira Glass, I’ve finally taken you up on your plea to try Audible.com.   Read, listen, read and listen if you have attention problems.  So Anne Lammott is reading “Help Thanks Wow” to me while I cook and drive.  Although wow … her voice is not exactly what I expected…
14. Finding that even though something is old, would be expired if it had an expiration date, and in packaging that is circa 1988 – Calgon’s long last bubbles can still get the job done twenty+ years later. 
15. Speaking of packaging, opening a new box of crackers and initially feeling guilty because they are packaged in smaller packages but then be secretly excited that they are lunch sized and also guaranteed to stay fresh.  And then having it happen again with a new box of cookies.
16. Doing one last errand with your gas tank on empty and making it.  Diesel + small car + small country = you can wait for your husband to fill up the tank.
17. Living into your signature color.  Ours is RED.  We have a red couch, red dining chairs, and now a bright red new car (first because it’s our signature color, second because it has GPS, and third because it was what was left on the lot.)  
    
18. Seeing someone you recognize (a barista) in a grocery store on the other side of town who doesn’t know you from Eve but who makes you feel like you’re getting the hang of this new place minus the obligation to chit chat. 
19. Seeing that same barista two days later on a bus on the other, other side of town which either makes you feel like he’s following you or this coincidence means you were destined to say hello.
20. Having someone contact you from your blog contact page for the very first time, and then finding out that they too will be moving to Luxembourg!

Barcelona Recommendations

​I just wrote up a list of Barcelona recommendations for a friend of a friend, so thought I would share it here too in case anyone else has a trip in mind.   Brett has many more restaurant recommendations from his work trips there, but the list below are some highlights.

LODGING

The metro in Barcelona is easy to use and fast.  Given that, you can stay in lots of different parts of the city and still not need a car.  We bought the 10 pass card and then replenished as needed.   We also used taxis occasionally.  You don’t need to rent a car.

Hotel Praktik Rambla - Rambla de Cataluña, 27 08007 Barcelona 08007 Barcelona

We love, love this chic boutique hotel.  Brett always stays here and he has gotten a lot of Amazon people to stay there over the years.  It’s a great, comfortable hotel (with reliable wifi!)  and wonderfully located.  The boutique hotel is just a few minutes’ walk away from spectacular monuments and places to visit such as: La Pedrera, the Batlló house, the Paseo de Gracia, Las Ramblas or the Plaza Cataluña, Barcelona’s nerve center. It is between the two busiest metro stops – Cataluyna and Passeig de Gracia so easy to get back to from almost any metro line.  The hotel isn’t really suited to kids, although we did stay there with ours.

If you are travelling with kids, I’d recommend checking out Airbnb to rent an apartment.  We and others we know have had great success with Airbnb though not specifically in Barcelona.

SITES

La Boqueria – Mercat St. Joseph on the Ramblas

We’re not fans of La Ramblas.  If you are from Seattle, it’s like walking the Waterfront.  Fun to see once for the entertainment but you have to be careful of pick pockets and gypsies particularly around there.  Very touristy.    However, the market off the Ramblas is a can’t miss.  It is the most amazing market I’ve ever seen - -huge and vibrant.  You’ll only wish you had a kitchen so you can cook.  There are pre-made smoothies at all the fruit stands that are great to sip on while walking around.  There are also a number of places to sit at a bar and eat fresh food – we’ve never done it, but have wanted to.  It’s hard to find a seat usually.  Pick up some nuts, dried fruit, chocolate, olive oils, and saffron to bring home.

La Sagrada Familia – Carrer de Mallorca 401

In the Eixample neighborhood.  Gaudi’s church is the most visited site in all of Spain.  You have to see it.  And spend the money to tour the inside and towers – it’s worth it.  The lines move fast so don’t be discouraged if the line is long (it will be.)  Pay the extra for the audio tour.  They have one for adults and one for kids. 

Park Guell & Gracia neighborhood

This is Gaudi’s hillside park.  The landscape design is unlike anything you’ve seen.  Definitely worth going to.  While you are there, check out the bohemian Gracia neighborhood.

El Poble Espanyol-in the Montjuic neighborhood

My friend Grechen told us about this place for our first visit.  It’s off the beaten track and something to do if you have more than 3 days in the city.  It costs to get in.   From Gretchen: “El Poble was created for the 1929 International Exhibition to showcase architecture and crafts of each region in Spain.  It’s a mini village, filled with gorgeous handmade items – ceramics, glass, leather (buy belts!).  And the main square has several nice restaurants for casual meals.” 

FC Barcelona sports campus

All the professional teams in Barcelona play in one large campus.  We saw a FC Barcelona basketball game, but obviously FC Barcelona Soccer is the big team in town.  Definitely get tickets in advance of your trip.  It’s a great way to do sports all in one central location and it’s worth poking around even if you don’t go to a game.  The basketball game was great fun, so may be a worthy back up if you can’t get soccer tickets.

Tibidabo mountain, church, and amusement park

Further out of the city is a church on the top of a hill called Tibidabo.  You take the subway, a trolley, and then a funicular to get to the top.  The church is nice, not amazing, but the views are worth the trip up.  Only go if it’s a clear day when you can enjoy the views.  There are some really nice houses on the way up the mountain to look at.   Also, there is a mini amusement park at the top that is fun for the kids – about 20 rides geared towards kids ages 12 and under.  Our boys loved it, and with the views – we didn’t mind either.  Bring a picnic if you plan to spend a day up there as food options aren’t great.  There are a few rides that you can go on without paying for the amusement park.  There wasn’t any tourists in the amusement park as it’s not talked about much in the guide books.

Barceloneta & Beach

You have to see the Mediterranean Sea up close and the beach along it is really nice.  Also check out the spit of land called Barceloneta which is a traditional Mediterranean fishing village.  It feels different – more working class – than the rest of Barcelona.

Montjuic

If it’s a nice day, this is a great walk up a mountain with parks and gardens along the way.  There is a castlefort at the summit.  Fun if you are looking to see some good views and get in a good walk.

Museu de Xocolata – Chocolate museum in La Ribera neighborhood.

This is a fun tour to see the history of chocolate as well as whimsical chocolate sculptures.  Colin and I went for an hour one afternoon.  It was fun, but wouldn’t describe as a must see.

Museu d’Art Contemporani – in the Ravel neighborhood. 

This is Barcelona’s version of Paris’s Centre Pompidou.  Brett and Lawton went, and it was good but they wouldn’t describe it as can’t miss. 

Fundacio Joan Miro – We didn’t go, but wanted to.  It’s on our list for next time.

Museu Picasso – Old Town. We didn’t go, but wanted to.  It’s on our list for next time.

RESTAURANTS

The Spanish eat late.  Most restaurants don’t open until 8pm, and are the busiest at 10pm.  A lot of restaurants are closed on Sundays, so plan accordingly.  We never found a great paella – which by the way, is generally only eaten for lunch.  If you find some, let us know!

La Pepita - Carrer Còrsega, 343, Tel. 93 238 48 93

This is one of our two favorites.  In Eixample neighborhood.  More contemporary tapas.  Reservations required.  This restaurant is highly reviewed on Trip Advisor, so there will be tourists there but the food is special.  Sophie the Chef’s wife runs the front of the restaurant – she speaks good English – and she was incredibly warm. She let the boys tour the kitchen and sign their tile wall.  Don’t miss.

Tapas 24 - 269 Diputacio

This is our other favorite. Also in Eixamble neighborhood.  Very small restaurant with well done and slightly different tapas.  They don’t take reservations.  Get there early!  Sitting at the bar is fun to watch them make food and order what you see.  Don’t miss this place either. 

Margarita Blue -   c/ Josep Anselm Clavé, 6

Close to Las Ramblas.  Mexiterranean restaurant and cocktail bar.  We ate here when we wanted a change of pace from tapas.  Food is good, cocktails are excellent.   It’s also a hangout for local musicians, so go on a night when there’s live music.  It was packed every time we were there.  Great vibe.  Unlike other bars, kids are welcome in restaurant area.

La Rambla 31 - Carrer de la Diputacio 253, 08007

In the Eixamble neighborhood, a ½ block from our hotel.  This is the bakery we went to every morning.  It’s great.  Packed with locals.  Everything is delicious.  There whole wheat croissants (croissant integral) is unique.  Small area to eat in.  You pay at the register and sit down.  Coffee is fine, but generally Spanish coffee is weaker.

Ciudad Condal – Rambla de Catalunya 18, 08007

In the Eixamble neighborhood, across the street from our hotel.  This is a very well-known traditional tapas place.  If you are from Seattle, it reminds me of The Met.  It’s well established – lots of people in suits and always bustling.  We usually have our first meal here.

Filferro - sant Carles 29 in Barceloneta

We stumbled on this place while walking around Barceloneta and it was great for lunch.  It’s a fun, funky neighborhood place with outdoor seating that was filled with locals.  Best fresh tuna salad I had while I was there.  Not a single tourist.

Forn Boix - Carrer de l'Hospital, 20, 08001 in El Raval neighborhood

Great bakery in El Raval neighborhood .  Great sweet and savory things to choose from.  No seating, just grab and go.  Always busy.  There might be two locations.

SHOPPING

There is an underwear shop on every corner, so ladies – if you need to stock up on lingerie, Barcelona is your place.  There are also tons of boutique shops.  It is a great city for clothes shopping.

Raval , Born, Barri Gotic neighborhoods

Fun streets to roam and shop.  All non chain types of stores on small, narrow cobblestone streets.  Raval has one of a kind shops.  Barri Gotic neighborhood for crafts and antiques .  All these small side streets have great graffiti.  We had fun with kids and pictures will all the graffiti.

Desigual – multiple locations

Fun Spanish, bright clothes for men, women and children.  It is very distinctive clothing and the Spanish love Desigual.  It is like their version of Gap.  Stores are everywhere, but pop into several of them as selections are slightly different between locations (especially with children’s clothing.)  Great sales.  Desigual is available in the US, but prices are much better in Spain.  We always spend some money here. 

Camper – multiple locations

Great shoes for men and women.  Stores are everywhere.  Stylish and comfortable and not too expensive.  Brett and I get a pair or two every time we visit.  You can get Camper shoes in the US, but there are more styles available in their home country.  Also a small children’s section. 

Vaho Gallery – multiple locations

Fun recycled messenger bags, purses, wallets, etc.  in all shapes and sizes. Stores are everywhere.  Most of the bags have Barcelona on them somewhere.  Fun souvenir to bring back.

See all Barcelona Photos.

Work in Progress

The boys and I arrived in soggy Barcelona last Thursday.  I arrived with three European sized suitcases and two happy children in tow all by my own self.  Brett had been there all week for a busy work conference and so we decided to take the kids out of school for a few days and crash Brett’s hotel room.   It’s one thing to family crash in a big hotel, but quite another in a forty room boutique hotel.  For example:  when your children insist on taking the scarce elevator upstairs to the first floor.  However, Brett has been a loyal customer of La Pratik Rambla for five consecutive years now and has sent a lot of Amazon business their way, so they were happy to make an exception allowing the four of us to stay in one room.  By the second day, they knew to up the resupply of toilet paper.  By the first two minutes, I knew it was a mistake to let the nine year old pack himself.    

I intended to do some pre-work with the boys by having them research La Sagrada Familia, Antoni Gaudi’s famous Basilica.  I have a friend here in Luxembourg who has her kids write a brief synopsis on a site they plan to go visit in advance of the trip.  The thinking being that the more the kids know in advance, the more interested they’ll be when they see it in person.  It sounded like such a good idea (and it is a good idea), but in execution it felt a little like spiking the kids’ orange juice with Aloe Vera juice.  It was an obvious, medicinal “I know what’s good for you” overture.  Extra, unassigned writing for a nine year old boy is something that requires a long runway and a convincing sales pitch.  I had neither.  And uninspiring YouTube clips of La Sagrada Familia weren’t helping.   I concluded that it must work better with daughters, or with families who played more Trivial Pursuit than Battleship.  The boys did however study up on the FC Barcelona Basketball team as we got tickets in advance to watch our first Euro Basketball game.  Ah-ha! So that’s the ticket.  Maybe it would have been a better idea to let them pick the thing they want to do pre-work on.

I, on the other hand, did study up on La Sagrada Familia and within an hour of our arrival determined that Friday would be the day that we would all go see it and we would see it WITH GOOD ATTITUDES.  Thursday night: Euro Basketball Game.  Friday: Spain’s Most Visited Monument.  And there would be no complaining, no rushing Mommy, and maybe a quiz at the end.

There is nothing quite like seeing La Sagrada Familia in person.  Millions of people visit it each year and much has been written about it, and there is good reason for it.  Antoni Gaudi’s passions were architecture, nature, and faith and you see the intersection of those passions in his work.    There is something for everyone.   Gaudi said: “Everyone finds his things in the temple.  The peasants see the hens, the scientists the zodiac signs, the theologians the genealogy of Jesus.”  When I saw it for the first time two years ago, I was impressed by its scope but turned off by its extravagance.  It was like Tammy Fay’s make up.  Too, too much.  Seeing it from the street was enough for me.

This time, I wanted to get closer.  I was ready to hand over some Euros to get inside.  Pre-work does work! The line was long, but fast moving, and Brett got us tickets with the audio tour while I traipsed around the perimeter with my camera.  Gaudi wanted La Sagrada Familia to be the “Bible in stone.”   There are books dedicated to helping you read through the Bible in one year, so getting through La Sagrada Familia in one morning was only going to be scratching the surface.  Knowing the ambition of my goal, Brett gladly took charge of the children.

Immediately you are reminded that this cathedral that began construction in 1882 is still far from being finished.  Scaffolding covers the Glory Façade, and ten of the eighteen planned spires are yet to be completed.  The goal is to have it completed in 2026 which will be the Centennial of Gaudi’s untimely death.   It still seems a lofty goal.   You can spend hours on the outside tracking the story of Christ’s birth in the overwhelmingly detailed Nativity Façade and of Christ’s last days in the haunting Passion Façade.  But I came this time to go inside.  Plus, it was very windy. 

Once I entered the cathedral, I understood what all the fuss was about.  I was no longer counting towers and looking for the column supported by a tortoise.  I was experiencing what Gaudi wanted to evoke – a sense of peace.  The whole interior is a majestic exaltation of beauty.  Layered with symbolism, Gaudi used tree-like columns to convey an enormous spiritual forest where the believer feels protected and united with God.  With light filtering in and hundreds of people like me wandering through the cathedral with their audio headset on, it felt like a community of people who were “Connected, but Not Alone.”

As I walked and listened (and the boys walked and listened on their own), I found myself thinking about how this monumental work – even with all its beauty – was still a work in progress.  That Gaudi envisioned a place so beautiful that it would take more than a lifetime, and many setbacks like the Spanish Civil War, to realize.  I also found myself thinking how wonderful it is that even unfinished things can be of use.  The church was consecrated in 2010 and is now used for religious services – scaffolding and all.  Work in progress, unfinished – some words that came back to me later in the trip when I lost my temper with my kids, when I lamented my aging body, when I wondered “what’s my next vocational chapter? – and p.s. it better be good.”

When asked about the slow construction, Gaudi was reported to have said:  “My client is not in a hurry.”  I’m so glad God isn’t in a hurry with us either – the beautiful works of art we all are.

​(See all Barcelona photos)

Four words

“Pretty cowardly of you.”

I received these words in a Facebook email.  The email was written in October.  I didn’t see it until last week. The reason for the delay was because I had unfriended the person before it was sent, so it landed in my “other” inbox which I never check.

When a difference of opinion with an acquaintance over Facebook started to go sideways, unfriending was my solution for disengagement and taking the high road.  I didn’t trust myself or some of my friends who agreed with me to advance the discussion productively.   And, truthfully, this person wasn’t looking for common ground; she was looking for a fight.  She is smart, well educated, and I’m sure a very nice person but I was an easy target because we didn’t have a relationship that needed to be protected.  I thought I had put to bed the sourness of that October exchange, but reading those four words, four months later was like getting stung a second time.  

My initial reaction was to lash out and reply with some snarky comment.  My President won after all.  But I KNEW that would not be taking the high road.  Anger feels good sometimes, but only for a fleeting moment.   Being in another country with people coming from all walks of life and world views only dramatizes how insular we can be in our belief that our way is the best way.  And I’m not just talking politics.   My second thought was to send something productive, but I couldn’t figure out what that might be.  I don't really know her.  My final thought was to stick to where I started – stay disengaged – but with a twist.  Maybe I needed to look at those four words and ask myself where maybe I have been a coward.

I still don’t believe it’s cowardly to step away from a heated discussion about issues that our outside our control, but I’m sure I’ve been cowardly in other ways.  In trying new things that I’m not got at, in doing things that scare me, in truth telling with people who I’m in a relationship with, and mostly in trusting that there’s a God who loves me enough that I don’t have to carry the weight of future worries.   The big ones and the even the ridiculous ones.  We all know we can’t control our futures, but it takes daily courage to believe that our futures are being taken care of for us.  Saddling up to live fully in the present moment is not easy for most of us.

A few days ago I had an unexpected glass of wine with a neighbor.  A very new acquaintance (as everyone still is here.)  I had the courage to ask her a bold question, which lead to her bravely sharing the tumultuous story of her life for a few hours.  A story that was about to take a big turn.  My role wasn’t to be an adviser, or counselor, but simply a listener.   It is in our nature to want to change people’s minds or solve their problems, but when someone is sharing their story with their whole heart – our job is to actively listen and know that the God who loves me is already in deep love with that storyteller.  And as Brene Brown said in her TED talk, “What makes us vulnerable makes us beautiful. And it’s the birthplace of joy.” So in that moment, this coward’s job was merely to be a stepping stone.  I can only hope that I was a gentle landing.